Dear Hugin and Munin,
During my self-healing journey, I have been on a mission to purge my life of everything that no longer serves a purpose in my future. I have been restoring my house and routines into order. As well as my mental space. This, my friends, was the hard part.
A new kind of emotional awareness of my mental patterns started to take place. As I worked with my body’s energies, I started to really notice in my meditations where exactly where in my body, that I was hurting. When I drop into my own little world of calm and connected, I scan my body. I notice the little uncomfortable places, my posture, the pull of gravity, and any soreness. Some of these areas, I note to address later note. Others, I know are pains and weaknesses I have had for a very long time.
I think about and remember so much about my life. From the beginning, now and into the future even in some moments. I can’t say how much control I have of my thoughts, although I have become more mindful about observing them. I have begun to train and rewire my brain with conscious effort.
Why is that?
I was having an inner battle with my ego, my dark side (what I learned), traumatic memories in my conscious awareness. The more I focused on one area of pain or weakness, the more I began to think about these negative thoughts and memories. Like I said earlier, you only have so much control of your thoughts. My Heart hurt, Real bad.
Even in posts, I have talked about how I have been visiting my past timeline. Going “back in time” to forgive my self and others for things that happened. I have realized that indeed, everything happens for a reason and that reason is, I am who I am NOW. And I love who I AM NOW!
Additionally, I want to know more about myself and who I really am, so that I can love even more of myself. This has worked fantastically for my memories, if not most, of my most difficult memories. Those that I am easily able to recall, identify, resonate with, and learn from.
It’s easier to be Grateful for things that have happened to you if you have learned a valuable lesson from them. Even if they were difficult at the time.
It’s the memories you’ve held on to for so long, that they hurt to even start to think about. So you do everything you can to avoid thinking about them, and there you go. Burying them deep within your mind, and thus your body. Creating these weak spots in your body and organs, whichever one carries the closest or most harmonious frequency of the emotional energy. That’s where the emotion will get trapped and cause pain, and eventually, the illness will occur in the organ that stores these negative charges.
The result of accepting and forgiving yourself is the realization that you have the Inner Strength to not only Survive but Overcome. Loving your inner enemies for helping you to learn who amazing you are, how unique you are, and sometimes even – Reveal the Greatest Treasure. The secrets to your own life’s purpose, who you are designed to help, understand and empathize with for the Greater Good.
One of the most interesting videos that helped me accept these traumatic relationships (especially in the beginning) is this video.
Disclaimer: This is not exactly scientific, but has been widely accepted by most consciously aware of the shift of energy global awareness
Here’s the problem with burying your feelings alive…
Your physical body remembers your traumatic experience throughout our fleshy body or vessel. Whenever you consciously begin to think about or remember your trauma, your body triggers reactions to release the trapped emotional memory and information from where it is being stored, especially if it’s just settled beneath your skin from previous attempts at recent emotional release. (And the cycle continues.)
Each time your body releases emotions it’s like a balloon, and eventually, all the chemicals of that emotion are released at once. We know from drug studies of all kinds that we’re great at building immunity, tolerance, and this is primarily because we’re so smart. Whatever our body needs more of, it creates in excess for the next time. The more recent the release, the more it makes for next time. Do you see how your emotional energy grows?
In this way, the organ or flesh that is storing this trapped energy, is becoming disabled and falls into illness if it goes unreleased.
Every time you override this emotional release, all the old and all the new emotional energy that you create overcomes your body, mind, and spirit.
You begin to process all this information, but your ego and mental self doesn’t want to process or remember this trauma. So you consciously tell your body to ditch this experience and suppress the emotional memory. Without a way to release this negative emotional experience, your body starts to trap the information. The energy comes together as your mind thinks of other things as a distraction. The emotional energy relocates in the place of the body most synchronized to the vibration of the emotion.
Energy Medicine can now locate and identify different emotions by organ or area of the body. We can also identify emotional trauma by which area of the body is in pain or unwell. By Energy Testing, or Muscle Testing, our bodies are capable of telling us what emotional trauma is weakening us.
Early in my self-diagnosis phase, I had a few places in my body I knew that were causing me pain for so long I’ve almost forgotten about it (talk about living with the pain). And I knew also, that I had plenty of recurring emotional habits, that seemed to erupt in me on a daily basis. Once I admitted them to myself openly, with a good intention for change and personal development. It was quite easy to know which bad habits formed which negative emotional reactions in my day to day life.
The hard part wasn’t noting my aches and pains in my body, or even admitting which negative emotions and habits I needed to change.
I knew though, that the more I let these emotional memories come to the surface.
The more I was going to remember, which meant the more I was going to be able to process and learn from.
The more I was going to be able to discover the truth and begin to accept the value of my life’s experiences.
It was dealing with the memories and conflicting emotions about the people involved in these events. Once I started to focus on one part of the body or one emotion. I am always shocked at how quickly my mind reacts. So quickly, does my mind go to the dark side and begin to drift deep within these difficult remembrances. How vividly I can remember some things, and how hard it is to recall what happened in others.
The voices of loved ones, my own ego, and my logical mind were at war for days, as I processed so many emotional memories.
I knew though, that the more I let these emotional memories come to the surface. The more I was going to remember, which meant the more I was going to be able to process and learn from this. The more I was going to be able to discover the truth and begin to accept the value of my life’s experiences.
I worked through a good number of things quickly. Coming full circle, and forgiving myself and others along the way. Particularly if they are still a part of my life, or I could make a quick phone call to say, “Hey I’m sorry for this, I’ve really spent a lot of time thinking about it over the years. So please know now, that I learned a lot from everything that happened, and I have no regrets. I appreciate you and our friendship. Thanks for being part of me.”
The Heart Likes to Think & Talk Too
People have been so loving and respectful. A few times, they too had something they always wanted to tell me. And we have this great little chat, and feel tons better afterward! Or, weeks… and it’s hard, it’s Emotional, but even Heartache can heal with a little time, honesty, willingness, and unconditional love.
The magic is when you start to notice how much better you feel physically. And how much clearer you think about yourself, other people, and your memories. Even the bad ones, once you forgive, accept and learn from them. It’s a whole new world to explore because there are not Negatively Charged Trapped Emotions lingering just below the surface.
So when you think about this memory or person again, you don’t get this overwhelming surge of emotions. You can just think about them with much more ease and control. Easily pulling the lessons and moments that you want to identify with at any time.
For me right now, this is extremely powerful because I am on a mission to purge my life of everything that doesn’t suit me moving forward. And to do that, I am carefully touching each item I own, each person in my life, each memory in my mind and choosing to keep only that which brings me joy. I’ll talk a lot more about this but for now. Let’s just say I have a very good idea of exactly what and who brings me the most joy. My mind is free to explore, expand, and create.
Read Post: My Quest For Joy In Everyday Life
We now know scientifically, that it’s not actually just your brain that thinks and makes decisions for you based on your emotions.
Your Heart can actually act independently from your brain and creates its own electrical impulses. In fact, your Triple Warmer Meridian that governs your fight/flight/freeze responses takes energy from all other systems except your Heart Meridian! Have you ever noticed how quickly your heart responds to your feelings? It’s not just a coincidence that you immediately react with your heart. This makes sense then that before you can even think (with your brain) that your heart is already thumping in response to shock or excitement.
It’s no surprise to me then that caring and compassion would greatly triumph over anger or frustration, lasting longer and sending stronger signals through your body (and mind).
A little love can go a long way. This also indicates a serious impact to heartache or heartbreak. Are you capable of love if you are flooded with emotional pain from your heart? Maybe… this is why can say, “Love is blind,” because when you think with your heart over your brain during heartbreak, you actually are mentally blinded from thinking clearly because of your emotional response habits from your heart center.
Some are memories are harder than others to process, but with a lot of love and a little help. I truly believe that emotional healing is extremely impactful to your mental health and physical wellbeing. Many of my upcoming posts are going to be explaining in more detail how and why all this is so important to you and your future.
The Physiological and Psychological Effects of Compassion and Anger: https://www.heartmath.org/research/research-library/basic/physiological-and-psychological-effects-of-compassion-and-anger/
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Have you forgiven yourself for things you would have done differently now? Are you grateful for your life as it is RIGHT NOW?